Ask vs Guess Culture, etc. · Monday January 18, 2010 by Julie
We were talking about ask vs. guess culture, which we got to through Naus.
Perhaps related to that is the idea of what to do with what you know. I tend to think as a teacher. I want to lay things out as clearly as possible and let people come to their own conclusions. The advantage for me is that I’m working for insight and clarity, but the advantage in the outside world is less clear. People have their own agendas. Most people have thick filters up and don’t hear what is said. They hear what their filter allows through. Just because something is presented truthfully, doesn’t mean it will be heard as neutral, far from it. After that, it’s anyone’s guess what happens to the information.
Bob (not his real name) tends to think as a kindly uncle. He wants a good outcome. What he says about a situation is whatever he deems will lead to that good outcome. The advantage for him is that he’s working to make things better, but the advantage in the outside world is less clear. Nobody can manipulate everybody at once, though over time, it’s fairly easy for a skilled person to learn how to manipulate someone close to them. If the attempts at a good outcome fail, then not only does Bob not have the outcome he wanted, but he also has to work on a different spin.
Perhaps there is some synthesis of these two approaches that would work better than either alone. Perhaps the solution lies in first, sticking to the truth, but second, presenting it with the outcome in mind. How this is to be learned is another question.
